When Horses Choose

“Why would I let my horse choose? He’s not very good at making decisions. He’s a horse.” 

This was my first thought when I learned about the When Horses Choose method. That, and, “Okay, I’m pretty hippy dippy, but this seems like a lot, even for me.” But a new friend had introduced me and my mom to the method and I wanted to learn about it. My mom had been watching training videos all day, popping in to tell me things she’d seen and which horses we were working with who she thought the method might help. 

I was still skeptical. 

We decided to pay for the 2.5 hour video where Mia Lykke Nielson, the trainer who developed the method, explains and shows her process in detail with one horse over a series of days. After about 5 minutes, I was hooked. After that 2.5 hours, I was obsessed. 

The very next day, we met with a new client. She had a sweet quarter horse mare who was dealing with anxiety. She would pace, race around the ring, cry for her herd mates, paw at the ground, and rear, both in the cross ties and at her owner. We were in the indoor talking with her owners and simply trying to get her to stand still to be brushed. She would push her owner, a 13 year-old girl, with her head, pull against the lead rope, and refuse to stand still. 

“She’ll be a totally different horse under saddle,” Her mom said. 

“Okay, let’s see that.” 

We took her to the cross ties. She paced, pressing her butt against the stall. She reared repeatedly, trying to free herself from the ties. 

“Let’s go back to the ring and try something,” we said. 

Back to the ring we went. We took off her halter and let her trot away and explore while we explained the method to the girl and her mom. 

“Her anxiety stems from the fact that she doesn’t view humans, specifically her humans, as being in charge. She thinks she needs to be in charge to keep everyone safe, and she doesn’t like being in charge. We’re going to try this method. The goal is to show her, using horse language, that we are in charge of the herd, not her.”

The When Horses Choose method gives horses two options: You can work nicely with me, or you can hang out in your safe haven. The safe haven is a corner chosen by the human that the horse is allowed to be in. The horse can do whatever they like in that corner. It’s their corner. If they try to go somewhere else, we simply herd them back to their corner. Then, when they are in a submissive and curious state, we walk up and praise them. We pretend to lead them with an invisible lead rope. If they walk on with us, that is them choosing to work with us. They can also choose to stand. 

After we’d explained the concept, we all grabbed a whip and moved the mare down the ring and to her corner. At first, she ran full speed, uninterested in being calmly shepherded. We didn’t chase, didn’t try to make her run, simply got in her way and redirected her. When she made it to her corner, we stopped, releasing all pressure. She licked and chewed and stared at us curiously. We were in business. 

I’m not going to bore you (or myself) with a step-by-step play-by-play of the rest of our session. I highly recommend everyone research and learn more about the When Horses Choose Method. 

By the end of the session, which lasted maybe 30 minutes, the mare was calm and content, following her 13 year-old owner around with no lead rope or halter, stopping when she stopped and turning when she turned. When they rejoined the rest of us, the horse had her head low and was happy to stand and wait. It was a complete 180 from the horse we’d been dealing with at the beginning of the session. 

Now, the work is not over. Far from it. But significant progress was made. When this mare learned that she wasn’t in charge, she was able to let go of her anxiety and fear and listen to her human. Showing her that we were dominant helped her relax. 

I want to emphasize what we didn’t do. We didn’t use force or aggression. We didn’t run her with the intention of wearing her down. We didn’t get made or upset or frustrated. We didn’t MAKE her do anything. We invited her to join our herd and to work with us. And she chose to participate. 

Listen, I get it. You may be skeptical still. I know I was. But I encourage you to give it a chance. Watch a few videos. Learn the method. Try it yourself. 

It might just change everything.